Blue 1

This is something I've never done before. Not a journal, for I used to do that all the time. But a private journal, one I plan on keeping from everyone. Is the internet a place? If I write these things here, are they really expressed?

I'm only 21 and married. It's been about a year, and I thought everything was going great. I mean, we were going (still are, I guess) through some financial difficulties, but we were happy.

Then he decided to join the Air Force.

He's not even in it yet, and he's changed. More angry, more confrontation, defensive.

I didn't even say, "don't do it", all I said was "wait and think" but he didn't even do that, but instead rushed down to the recruiter's office and is in the middle of enlisting.

Where does this leave me? I refuse to stay here and rot and wait for him.

But a friend told me today that if I don't go along with him, he'll divorce me. He actually said this.

What do I do? I'm an angry, stubborn person, so do I confront him? Or do I wait? Do I bring up divorce, or should I become a good little military house wife and wait for my husband to come back in a body bag?

Fuck.